Something For Nothing

It was the beginning of December. I was in a difficult place. And even though it wasn’t a ‘feel good’ place, it was a place that I had been unknowingly asking to arrive at for my entire life.

At the time, I was employed by a company that I had only gone to work for several months earlier. Well known company, fortune 500 player. I had a good salary, a company car, company gas card, company credit card, complete authority over my staff … but a spirit that was one day closer to death every time the alarm clock went off and I drug myself out of bed and back to the office.

When coming on board, this company boasted values that were in alignment with mine … things like ‘Do the Right Thing’ and ‘Honor God in all you Do’ … and I thought I had found home. I listened to the talk, I saw the vision – but once I left the corporate training headquarters and landed in the day to day operations of this business, there was really no room to actually ‘implement’ that foundation. There was a chasm … a gap – and it was one I was unable to bridge. I was completely disillusioned. I woke up each day dreading going to work … and that was completely against my golden rule.

At the same exact time, I was in a long distance relationship. It wasn’t with a handsome stranger I’d met on a business trip or an intriguing lover I’d met on a solo vacation … it was with a family friend, who’d become more than a friend … after standing squarely by his side when he went to prison for a crime he didn’t commit, leaving behind 3 small boys.

Me? In savior mode - Southern California … Him? In victim mode - Northern California. 486 miles between us. Many rules. Few visits. No support on the home front. Difficult … to say the least. And he still had a long time to go.


I believe it was December 20th – and the only reason I would remember the date is because of the proximity to Christmas when I got the ‘straw’ that broke the ‘camel’s back’.

The branch office I had inherited to run was had been completely neglected and was in poor condition when I got it. The last quarter of our year – namely the holidays – was our busiest season and I was 40% understaffed.

I was working 14 hour days, 6 days a week. My team was already working a mandatory 6 day work week – about 12 hours a day.

These people had families, relatives, traditions, religious practices … and so did I - but 5 days before Christmas, I received an e-mail from my Regional Manager stating that the company as a whole didn’t look profitable enough going into the new year so there was an immediate need to increase revenue before the end of the month, therefore, all employees were required to work not only on the Saturday before Christmas, but Sunday as well … and I had 2 days to break the news to my associates.

In disbelief, I read it … again, and again, and again. And then, at that moment, something in me snapped. I didn’t say a word to my team. I gathered up my coat, purse, papers … I let my office assistant know I wouldn’t be back that day and I headed out the front door. Home I went.

When I pulled into the driveway and walked into the kitchen, the looks on my children’s’ faces was one of shock. I got all the comments like “Mom, what are you doing home so early?” and “What happened – how come you’re not at work?” and “Are you sick?”

Oh … I was sick alright. I was sick and tired of working harder than I ever had and having less than ever to show for it.

I had no time for my family (who was the most important part of my life)
I had no money in the bank (because I likewise had absolutely no internal abundance at this point)
I was being asked to take advantage of a group of wonderful individuals (who obliged because they were suffering from the same basic ’disease’ I was at that time and didn’t know what else to do)
And, I wasn’t doing anything that I knew I was put on Earth to do –

I was completely and totallyout of integrity with myself

I had sold myself out … and , on December 20th …

I was finally … done.

I QUIT!

I quit it all.

I quit ‘something’ for ‘nothing’ - and I never looked back.

I called my boss, blessed her and wished her well and said goodbye. I wrote a letter to my boyfriend, blessed him and wished him well and said goodbye. I picked up my address book … took an inventory of who was no longer serving the real purpose of my life, blessed them and wished them well and said goodbye.

And I made a promise to myself that very day … that finally, after all these years, I would grow into the whole package I was meant to be all along and I would no longer play small.

I stepped it up.

Was it scary? Hell yes! I have 5 children looking at me every morning expecting food on the table! I have a lender who expects the mortgage to hit the bank on the first. I have bills and obligations …

But guess what? I asked for the means to do what I LOVE … to follow my bliss … and to be supported in that. Believe me, the Universe supports a heart on purpose … so - grateful and happy - here I am!

I am writing every day. I am coaching every day. I am teaching every day. And I am making a difference in people’s lives the way I have always known I am supposed to. How do I know it’s working? Because YOU tell me all the time!

I now have time for my beautiful family. I have amazing new friends. I have the most incredible partner. I am blessed beyond words.

And I have all these things because when I knew what was necessary … I trusted, and I jumped off the cliff without a parachute. A leap of faith …

Left ‘something’ for ‘nothing’.

Wow, what a beautiful nothing it has turned out to be!

And as great as it feels to give all this to others … because it is my joy … I receive every day more than I share.

That, my friends, is the true meaning of abundance.


So, can I ask you something? Are you living your bliss every day? Do you wake up so grateful for everything in your life that you can’t help but spill it out all over everyone around you everywhere you go?

If not, step into your own closet … do some soul searching … listen to what your soul is telling you. You know what you were meant to do – and if not, find someone who can help you uncover it.

Then? Go to the appropriate cliff. Spread your arms out wide. Speak a great prayer of trust. And … jump.

And, with the right intention in your heart, I can promise you – that the landing will not be hard and painful … it will be into the arms of those at the foot of your valley who have been waiting to catch you all these years.

Until Tomorrow …

Hugs (from the closet),

KimbraLee =)

P.S. – I will be the one yelling ‘you can do it!’ … louder than anyone else! ;-)