When You're Not Watching

My oldest daughter, 18 and about to graduate from high school (someone pass me a tissue!), pleasantly surprised me the other day.

Those of you who have teenagers have probably already traveled down the same road I have over the past two years. Once your child has a car, you never seem to see them anymore. In my house, we joke that Sydni’s car is her ‘apartment on wheels’! She only stops in to graze from the fridge, throw in a load of laundry, take a quick shower and sleep … if she can stay still long enough.

At first it bothered me that she was never, ever home to hang out with Dear Old Mom like she had in the past. But then, in my infinite wisdom, I reframed something. Teenagers with cars are God’s way of preparing Moms and Dads for the inevitable ‘move out’. It just breaks you in gently!

Anyhow, it was about 10:30 a.m. last Saturday and Sydni called me from her cell phone. She was at the carwash. “Mom,” she said, “can I ask you a question?”

Secretly smiling to myself that we may have reached the age where Mom once again knows something … anything … I answered humbly. “Sure, Sweetie – what?”

“Well, I am parked in the lot about ready to get into the long line here at the carwash. I am cleaning out all the trash and stuff from my car and guess what I found?”

My mind flashes me several visuals … some amusing, some not!

“What did you find?” Mom asks, nervously.

“I found thirty dollars! It was underneath the floor mat in the passenger seat of my car by the center console.”

“Great!” I replied, “What’s the question?”

“Well, should I keep it? I mean, I don’t remember losing $30.00 recently, and you know I drive everyone around in my car – what if it belongs to one of my friends … should I call all my friends and ask them if they lost money? It’s probably been in here for a long time.”

I smiled. Thought to myself, ‘Ah, you’ve done good, Mom! Daughter number one is an honest cookie!’

Now what was quite timely here was that just the night before, Sydni and I had a long discussion about how she is always the one who is expected to drive everyone in her group everywhere they go. Her friends look to her for taxi service – partially because she is sweet and kind and safe – and partially because they are not nearly as motivated to work and make money as she is. They never just offer to pay for gas.

“Sydni,” I said, “Trust me when I tell you that when you ask a typical group of teenagers ‘Who lost thirty bucks?’ … they all lost thirty bucks! Honey, that money was a gift from the Universe for being generous and caring … and for carting around every kid in our town when they don’t have a way home from school.”

“Are you sure, Mom? What if someone comes to me next week and says they’re missing money?”

“Then give it back, Syd. But if not … it’s from heaven … and just for you! Now go tell them you want the super deluxe wash, buy yourself an iced tea and a magazine, find a sunny corner out on the patio, and wait for your car to be done – and today, it’s on God!”

And … that’s exactly what she did.

After I hung up the phone, I spent a minute in gratitude. And one thought filled my head … and my heart …

It’s what they do when you’re not looking that counts.


Until Tomorrow …

Hugs (from the closet),

KimbraLee =)


P.S. - As their character is being shaped, it's not so much what the parent says, but what the children see them do that matters.